Real Old Time Religion Page
THE ENTIRELY ARBITRARY CATEGORIES OF THE VERSES
AFRICAN PAGANISM.....................................Pg.
AGNOSTICS AND ATHEISTS...............................Pg.
ASATRU AND ODINISM:..................................Pg.
GENERAL:..................................Pg.
FREY/FREYA:...............................Pg.
FRIGGA:...................................Pg.
LOKI:.....................................Pg.
ODIN:.....................................Pg.
THOR:.....................................Pg.
BAHA'I:..............................................Pg.
BRUJA:...............................................Pg.
BUDDHISM:............................................Pg.
CARGO CULT:..........................................Pg.
CHILD BALLADS .......................................Pg.
CHRISTIAN:...........................................Pg.
CHRISTIAN EVANGELISTS:...............................Pg.
CLASSICAL PAGANISM:..................................Pg.
GENERAL:..................................Pg.
ANACREON:.................................Pg.
APHRODITE:................................Pg.
APOLLO:...................................Pg.
ARIES:....................................Pg.
ATHENA:...................................Pg.
BACCHUS:..................................Pg.
CYBELE:...................................Pg.
DEMETER:..................................Pg.
DIANA:....................................Pg.
DIONYSUS:.................................Pg.
JUNO:.....................................Pg.
PAN:......................................Pg.
SAPPHO:...................................Pg.
VENUS:....................................Pg.
HADES:....................................Pg.
HECATE:...................................Pg.
HERMES:...................................Pg.
POSEIDON:.................................Pg.
ZEUS:.....................................Pg.
COMMUNISIM...........................................Pg.
CONFUCIANISM.........................................Pg.
(THE ALMIGHTY) DOLLAR................................Pg.
DAO..................................................Pg.
DEUS EX MACHINA......................................Pg.
DISCORDIANISM:.......................................Pg.
DRUIDS AND FAERIE:...................................Pg.
GENERAL:..................................Pg.
ISAAC BONEWITS:...........................Pg.
SIDHE:....................................Pg.
WILD HUNT (THE):..........................Pg.
EGYPTIAN:............................................Pg.
GENERAL:..................................Pg.
AMMON:....................................Pg.
BAST:.....................................Pg.
HORUS:....................................Pg.
ISIS:.....................................Pg.
OSIRIS:...................................Pg.
RA:.......................................Pg.
ELVIS:...............................................Pg.
FICTIONAL GODS, DEMONS AND HEROES:...................Pg.
GENERAL:..................................Pg.
CTHULHU:..................................Pg.
FORCE (THE):..............................Pg.
GODZILLA:.................................Pg.
LIEBOWITZ, A CANTICLE FOR:................Pg.
MARVEL COMICS:............................Pg.
ROBERT ANTON WILSON:......................Pg.
J.R.R. TOLKIEN:...........................Pg.
FILKING AND OTHER BAD HABITS:........................Pg.
FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER:............................Pg.
HINDU:...............................................Pg.
GENERAL:..................................Pg.
HAIRY KRISHNAS:...........................Pg.
KALI:.....................................Pg.
RAMA:.....................................Pg.
SHIVA:....................................Pg.
TANTRA:...................................Pg.
ISLAMIC:.............................................Pg.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSESS:................................Pg
JEWISH:..............................................Pg.
KAHBAHLA:............................................Pg.
LDS (see: MORMONS):..................................Pg.
MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN:................................Pg.
GENERAL:..................................Pg.
ASTARTE:..................................Pg.
BAAL:.....................................Pg.
DAGON:....................................Pg.
DIMUZI:...................................Pg.
ENINNI:...................................Pg.
LILLITH:..................................Pg.
MOLOCH:...................................Pg.
MITHRAISM:...........................................Pg.
MOONIES:.............................................Pg.
MORMONS (LDS):.......................................Pg.
NATIVE AMERICAN PAGAN:...............................Pg.
N. AMERICA:...............................Pg.
CENTRAL & S. AMERICA:.....................Pg.
NEW AGE:.............................................Pg.
NEW WORLD ORDER:.....................................Pg.
NORTHERN EUROPEAN (GENERAL):.........................Pg.
OTHER LANGUAGES, VERSES IN:..........................Pg.
QUAKERS..............................................Pg.
RASTAFARIAN:.........................................Pg.
SATANISM:............................................Pg.
SCIENCE (SHE BLINDED ME WITH):.......................Pg.
SCIENTOLOGY:.........................................Pg.
SEX (JUST PLAIN GRATITUOUS):.........................Pg.
SHINTO:..............................................Pg.
SOCIETY FOR CREATIVE ANACHRONISM:....................Pg.
SUB-GENIUS (THE CHURCH OF THE):......................Pg.
THELEMA:.............................................Pg.
TRICKSTER:...........................................Pg.
VOODOO:..............................................Pg.
WACO DEBACLE AND HOME GROWN STUPIDS (THE):...........Pg.
WICCA AND GENERIC NEO-PAGAN:.........................Pg.
SERIOUS:................................Pg.
NOT SERIOUS:............................Pg.
ZARATHUSTRIAN:.......................................Pg.
UNCLASSIFIABLE VERSES AND UNKNOWN GHODS:.............Pg.
THE BEST REQUEST FOR COPIES OF REAL OTR YET!.........Pg.
THE OBLIGATORY LAST VERSE(S):........................Pg.
THE FINAL WORD:......................................Pg.
collected by Joe Bethancourt This is the homepage version
PO Box 35190 Phoenix Az 85069 and is the current update.
Released 10/12/05
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NOTE: This version, with the updates not shown here, has reached over 1000 verses. We intend to publish, so be patient!
DISCLAIMER
The opinions expressed in some or all of the verses are not necessarily the opinions of Joe Bethancourt, his wife, kids, family or friends. The classifications of the verses are arbitrary, and do not necessarily reflect the actual beliefs of the groups mentioned. No denigration of any group mentioned is intended by the author of this page, and any verses that might be considered such are included because we are collecting verses for this song, NOT because we are advocating discrimination or hatred based on race, religion, ethnic origin or culture. The movement towards "political correctness" is, we believe, simply another form of "power over" on the part of those with a totalitarian mind-set. Therefore, this song may not be PC, and we don't care.
If you are easily offended, if you are under legal age in your viewing area, if you just can't take the occasional 'bad word,' then STOP READING NOW.
GOT THAT?
If you need a further disclaimer, click here.
Joe's cats think the whole thing is stupid, but the Rottweiler likes it. So does Ceilidh, and Rajah the Abby. Post no bills, this means you.
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THE ORIGINS OF "REAL OTR" John Boardman, the East Coast collector of this song, says in _ANAKREON_ #8 (1 Nov., 1980): "So far, two different stories have come in of how "That Real Old Time Religion" originated. Robin R. Arnhold writes that "Lady Cybele" started it a decade or more ago, and says that (five of the early verses) are of her composition, with a chorus of "Give Me That Old Craft Religion." 'The first exposure to people other than Madison-area pagans came when Lady Cybele sang some of her songs in informal sessions at the Gnostica festivals in the early 1970's.' ""But Allison Harlow claims that 'Victor Anderson, the blind shaman of San Leandro...first began singing these verses; we taught the idea to NROOGD and _Nemeton_, whence it caught on in the Mid-West...and finally reached the East Coast.'"
John writes further in _ANAKREON_ #12 (1 Nov. 1981): "Rus (Gulevitch) has a resolution of the situation presented in _ANAKREON_ #8, in which two different stories of the origin of "That Real Old Time Religion" were presented:"
" 'I've heard about Cybele being the originator of OTR, too,' he wrote, 'But I also heard that several covens (who had no contact with each other) got the same idea at different times, and Cybele is but the one who first made it more or less public. Such things happen often enough.' "
To which I (Joe Bethancourt) can only add that I heard it in the early 1970's and have been collecting, and enjoying it ever since. It's gotten into the oral tradition in Science-Fiction Fandom, a little into the SCA, and is being sung in the folkie community quite a bit too.....which means we can -never- collect -all- the verses .... it's a -living- traditional song.
Some of these verses refer to local stuff that all of us might not understand, but hey .... they're good verses anyway so I left 'em in.
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A PARTIAL LIST OF PERSONS TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE These verses were written or contributed by:Abby, Aaron S. Adelman, Margot Adler, Poul Anderson, Ardjukk Afraid-Of-His-Cats, Robin R. Arnhold, Dave Aronson, Kimberly D. Ashford, Astryd, Johnathan Baker, Kevin Barkes, Michael Barnes, "Hugo t. Bear," Beth of Demeter's Beehive, Joe Bethancourt, Jody L. Bitner-Hubbard, Kihe Blackeagle, Mark Blackman, Blackthorn, Blue Star Grove, John Boardman, Brian Burley, Clan MacChluarain, Care, Catbad, Rick Cook, Don Cook, Greg Costikyan, Michele Cox, Diane Crockett, Lady Cybele, the Dark Horde, Arlene Davis, John Desmond, Rick Detar, the Digital Tradition, Terri Dorrosch, Dragomyr the Cossack, Will Duquette, Earil, Elfwork, Joe Ellis, Dick Eney, Cat Faber, Ravan Fairgrove, Richard Fietz, Leslie Fish, Al Frank, Corrina Frank, Filthy Pierre, "J. Random Folksinger," Anne Friend, Gabriel, Janice Gelb, Cemoc Gilcrom, Pattalee Glass-Koentop, Daniel S. Goodman, Harold Groot, Rus Gulevitch, Gwetholyn from Rhode Island, PDP11 Hacker, Haragano, Allison Harlow, Don Harlow, Marc Hart, Kim Coleman Healy, Heather, John Hedtke, John Helmsen, Brad Hicks, Janet Hirschhorn, Chip Hitchcock, Merav Hoffman, Tracy Holland, Judson Horning, Hurricane, Tom Holt, Hypatia, Steve Jackson, John Kearney, Kram, Fred Kuhn, Karl Lembke, Jonathan Lennox, Leonard Lake, Edna Little, Last Verse Littlejohn, Cheryl Lloyd, Bill Longley, Lucina, Lyra, Raurie MacCrae, Major Matt Mason, Jean Michele Martin, Michael from the Bronx, Gary McGath, Digger McGilp, Gerry Milne, Greg McMullan, Catherine Olanich, Florence P., Gregg Palmer, Ron Parshley, Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat, Gwendolyn Piper, Mack Pitchford, Dave Policar, Murray Porath, James Prescott, Antoine Provencher, Prudence Priest, Promethean Coven, "Puck," Brother Radamus, Eric Raymond, John Redford, Frank Reid, Daniel R. Reitman, Alice Rhodes, Doug Rice, Mad Richard, Erich Rickheit, Sam Robinson, Bill Roper, Rowanhold Bardic Circle, Roz, Dan Ruvin, Sabina, Ben and Louise Sansing, Sarah, Dave Schwartz, Thomas R. Scott, Peter Seeger, Kay Shapero, Justin C. Sherrill, Jane Sibley, Gianni Siri, Skia, Pat Sky, Dana Snow, Tom Smith, Geneva Steinberg, Ruth Sylvester, Glen R. Taylor, Saul Tobin, Bruce Tomlin, Torve, George A. Trosper, Vanthi Coven, Walks With Fire, David Weingart, John Wenn, Joy Williams, Russ Williams, Batya Wittenburg, John B. Woodford, Dani Zweig, Thomas Zartregu, the nut-cases on the Filk and Folk sigs (both InterNet and Fido), the folks on the various neo-Pagan sigs and nets around the world, the good people at Callahan's Cross-Time Saloon, and the usual "Traditional" or "Anonymous" which is a good way of keeping Angry Villagers armed with rakes, scythes, pitchforks, torches and dental tools away from your door. And probably several more people but I dunno who they are. And they probably won't admit to it. The 666th verse (+) collected for this collection was written by Leslie Fish, which somehow figures.
I have categorized the verses as best that I and a roomful of references could do. If I have anything placed wrongly, let me know. Nicely. If I have left out your favorite religion, please write me some verses for it!
Please don't take offense that I have not given the author's names for each verse (tho Leslie's is marked by a +). In many cases, I honestly don't know precisely who wrote which ones, and if it's any consolation, there are quite a few in here that I wrote, and have not put my name to either. After all, this song belongs to EVERYONE, which is why I have -not- claimed copyright to anything except this version/arrangement. This song is in the Public Domain. So there!
I must add that there are a couple of pirated versions of this, using my format with no credit given, on the World Wide Web. I don't mind the posting of the lyrics, but I sure as hell resent someone not giving me credit.
You are herewith invited to sing this song at every opportunity, to use it to puncture Windbags, annoy Jerks, and in general have a wonderful time laughing at our human foibles and follies....for (the) God(s) love(s) laughter.
If you wanna think that I am some kind of Evil Rotten Person for this song, then all I can say is "Get a life!" And then write some verses that express -your- opinions and send them to me. I'll be more than happy to include them, if they're not Terminally Obscene to the point of legal action.
Joe Bethancourt
PO Box 35190
Phoenix, AZ 85069
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THE REAL OLD TIME RELIGION
(Tune: "Old Time Religion")
(Chorus): Give me that real old time religion (3X)
It's good enough for me!
AFRICAN PAGANISM
We will hang out with Anansi I will visit with Nyame
He's the spider god we fancy The Ashanti god of all, hey
And he wears eight legged pants, He's I will bring him a salami
got enough legs there for me! And we'll both sit down to tea!
Every self-respecting Zulu But He answered, "Go embarka
Used to tell Nkulunkulu 'Pon the path employed by Shaka
"If you make my dreams come true, you (It's more gruesome than Clive Barker)
Sure are good enough for me" Then you're good enough for me"
AGNOSTICS AND ATHEISTS
AGNOSTIC/ATHEIST CHORUS: Gimme NO kind-a religion
Gimme NO kind-a religion
Gimme NO kind-a religion
It simply ain't for me!
Lots of folks are into God Let us praise God for creation
And I've often thought it odd And he made more than one nation
Do they love Him for His bod'? Let's give Him a big ovation,
Or is it ideology? And then tell Him "Let us be!"
I don't care about Jehover It's the Fundie Right's solution
Soon his office term is over To put Christian absolution
I would sooner worship Rover In the U.S. Constitution
'Cause he's good enough for me! And that don't sit well with me!
I won't go into no temple I shall stay a firm agnostic
Not for Graham nor Miss Semple I can't do a double-crostic
No, not even for a "semple" I'm a fan of Barry Bostwick
It ain't good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
If you think religion's awful Jehovah's fine transcendence
And you've really had your craw full And the Church's great resplendence
Just be sure your acts are lawful Pushing guilt and co-dependence
Or they'll -all- be after thee! Ain't good enough for me!
We will go and worship Jesus We give thanks to Jerry Falwell
Yes we will, when Hades freezes If his Crusade we can't stall, well,
He is full of guilt and fleases Ship him one-way to Rabaul - well!
Which ain't good enough for me! that's not far enough for me!
Are you waiting for the Rapture? Whene'er I hear Jerry Falwell
Superstition's got you captured! Quite soon I don't feel at all well
You believe a lot of ****, sure Throw him down a sacrificial well
Isn't good enough for me! That'll be good enough for me!
There are those who worship no gods Madelyn Murray O'Hare hollers
For they think that there are low odds Let's get God from off our dollars
That the god-seers aren't drunk sods God is something I can't swaller
And they're good enough for me! 'Cause he's got more balls than me!
There are those that sing out "Amen!" Are you waiting for the Rapture?
To a bastard Jewish shaman Go on, wait, and see if I care!
You know who, so I won't name him I'll go off and take a nap, sure
But it's good enough for me! Isn't good enough for me!
Call Him God, or call him Allah The very first of chiromancers
The priest will take your dollah Overdosed on mood-enhancers
Easy living from -your- follah- And found his palm had all the answers
-wers, but sorry, -not- from me! Which is good enough for me!
Others followed Rev. Jim Jones Oh the Christian sects they will clutch
In Guyana they found their bones At their dogmatic hate-crutch
Kool-Aid mixed with cyanide stones! I'm afraid that is just too much
That ain't good enough for me! Sects and violence for me!
You can keep your Old Religion, I will never be a Wiccan
It's for suckers and for pigeons! It's for dupes and frauds and chickens
I don't buy it! Not a smidgen! Bell and Book and Candlesticken
I'm an atheist, you see! Ain't good enough for me!
Let us all now worship Ayn Rand Let us all worship Reason
Cause she's business's big fan Cause it never goes out of season
With John Galt I'll make my stand And only it makes good predictions
And he won't shrug off me. And that's good enough for me.
ASATRU AND ODINISM: GENERAL
We will drive up to Valhalla We will walk upon ol' Bifrost
Riding Beetles, not Impalas Tell ol' Heimdall that we're not lost
Singing "Deutschland Uber Alles" Ask Odin what the runes cost
And that's good enough for me! And hit Loki with a pie!
I hear Valkyries a-comin' We will ask a boon of Mimir
In the air their song is comin' With the Northern Lights a-glimmer
They forgot the words! They're hummin'! I would not mind being slimmer
But they're good enough for me! Which is good enough for me!
Do you know what brought Balder low We will all go worship Hoenir
His Achilles heel, mistletoe Who has ears that hear by sonar
His systems are no longer "Go" And a most impressive *****!
But he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will raise our cups to Bragi Do you see the great God Tyr?
And we'll drink until we're groggy He's the one with that huge spear,
And the pretzels get all soggy And with Fenrir's tooth-marks here
But that's good enough for me! And I'm glad they're not in me.
It was good for Thor and Odin We will worship lovely Sif
It was good for Thor and Odin 'Cause I got Her in a GIF
Grab an axe and get your woad on! And She looks really nif-
and it's good enough for me! -ty and She's good enough for me!
ASATRU AND ODINISM: FREY / FREYA
In the halls of Frey and Freya Give a hand to darlin' Freya
All the priestesses will lay ya There's no need to ask her "May ya?"
If you're good enough, they'll pay ya! For a necklace she will lay ya!
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
ASATRU AND ODINISM: FRIGGA
We will go and worship Frigga We will worship now with vigor
And the men will be much bigga The goddess known as Frigga
And they won't have a hair-trigga Tho there are some who don't dig her
And that's good enough for me! She is good enough for me!
ASATRU AND ODINISM: LOKI
It was good enough for Loki It was good enough for Loki
It was good enough for Loki Tho his tricks are sometimes hokey
He thinks Thor's a little hokey He likes Gumby, he likes Pokey
And that's good enough for me! And he's good enough for me.
We will go and worship Loki We will sing a verse for Loki
He will tell a dirty jokie He's the old Norse god of Chaos
And get locked up in the pokey Which is why this verse don't
But that's good enough for me! rhyme or scan or nothin'
But it's good enough for me...
It was good enough for Loki All the Gods tore into Loki
Whose humor was okey-dokey Saying Deicide is hokey!
He'd laugh and take a ***** And they threw him in the pokey!
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Shall we sing in praise of Loki, Loki found the mistletoe
Though he left poor Midgard smokey? And at Balder he did throw
Oh, his sense of humor's hokey, And it laid ol' Balder low
But he's good enough for me! "It's all Balder-dash!" said he!
ASATRU AND ODINISM: ODIN
One-eyed Odin we will follow If you wanna worship Odin
And in fighting we will wallow You don't have to have a coat on
Till we wind up in Valhallow Grab a sword and slap some woad on
Which is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Odin Odin is a mighty thinker
Though the tremblin' got forbodin' And he is a heavy drinker
Then the giants finally strode in, With the girls he likes to tinker
But it's good enough for me! So he's good enough for me!
We'll all worship mighty Odin We'll pray to All-Father Odin,
While he's busy there decodin' In our wooden boats go floatin'
All those runes he found a floatin' Filling Europe with forbodin'
And it's good enough for me... And that's good enough for me.
Way up in cold Nordskogen Odin is the God of Poets
They all bend and scrape to Odin Tho sometimes He doesn't show it
Cause if they don't they get snowed in Hope my rhymin' doesn't blow it!
And that's good enough for me 'Cause He's God enough for me!
ASATRU AND ODINISM: THOR
Good old Thor's the god of thunder Shall we sing a verse for Thor,
Really helps us get our plunder Though he leaves the maidens sore?
Tho his head's still truly dunder They always come back for more,
He is good enough for me! So he's good enough for me!
We will go to Utgard Castle It was good enough for Thor 'n'
We'll watch Thor and Elli wrassle I can hear the thunder roarin'
Thor will have a lot of hassle Or maybe it's his snorin'!
But he's god enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
Now Thor, he's armed with Mjollnir We'll all worship Thor the Thunderer
Why choose that, I've no idear So he doesn't make a blunder
He should oughta use a spear When he RIPS the clouds asunder
But a hammer's fine by me. And it's good enough for me...
BAHA'I
I am into Abdul Baha We will honor Baha'u'llah
He's a fella that went "Aha!" He would make a World Rulah
Then he gave a mighty hollah That won't take away your moolah
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
BRUJA
Let us sing for Brujaria We will watch a Bruja giggle
Though the blood's a lot less cleaner; At a novice witch's wiggle
It's not Christian Santaria For you see, a Bruja's giggle
So it's good enough for me! Is a Brou-ha-ha to me!
BUDDHISM
We will all go to Nirvana Oh we all will follow Buddah
So be sure to mind your manners Oh we all will follow Buddah
Make a left turn at Savannah And we'll eat no food but Gouda
And we'll see the Promised Land! Which is Gouda-nuff for me!
It was good enough for Buddha, We will go and sing "Hosanna"
As a god he's kinda cute-a, To our good ol' pal, Gautama,
And he comes in brass or pewta' He will never flim or flam ya',
So he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
No one wrote a verse for Buddah We will all go to Nirvana
Tho I think they really coulda We will all go to Nirvana
And I really think they shoulda Make a left turn at Urbana
'Cause he's good enough for me! And you'll see the Promised Land!
We will all follow Buddah We will venerate the Buddah
He's one really serene dude-a Comes in silver, brass and pewta'
But you have to beg for food-a He ain't quite the Lion of Judah
And that's good enough for me! But he's good enough for me!
We will sing for Yama-Dharma Maybe I should try ol' Buddah
At our revels on the farm-a We can share a little Gouda
Though it messes up our karma I hope he won't think it rude-a
It's good enough for me! Me to say he's not for me!
I am darn confused by Zen Clap one hand if you love the Buddha
It seems way beyond my ken It will put ya in the mood ta
Could you say it all again Set off for Nirvana
Somewhat clearer so I'll see? And that's good enough for me!
Let us meditate on koans, Kill the Buddha if you meet him
both you high ones and you low'ans. And don't even stop to greet him
One hand clapping to and fro uns. Stomp and kick and bite and beat him
That's good enough for me! -You're- the Buddha, don't you see?
Oh I have practiced Zen
Meditated now and then
And I'll do it all again
'Cause it's good enough for me!
CARGO CULT & PACIFIC ISLANDS
To the tune of Handel's "Largo" If you get too tired
We will hymn the gods of Cargo And you need to get up higher
'Til they slap on an embargo Just have Pele light your fire!
And that's good enough for me! From her island in the sea!
You can keep your saints with halos, It was good enough for Maui
Your incense, hymns and aloes: And for his communion chow he
Let's throw virgins in volcanos! Served up poi and long pig - Wowee!
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will go and worship Maui We will watch the hula dancers
With that Polynesian zowie Topless Polynesian prancers
And he'll give us Maui Wowee! And we'll get pagan romance, sir
And that's stoned enough for me! And go to Easter Island, free!
CHILD BALLADS
CHORUS: Give me those old Child ballads,
Give me those old Child ballads,
Give me those old Child ballads,
They are good enough for me!
We'll turn all brown and furry
And we'll swim out to Sule Skerrie
We're too cheap to take the ferry,
And that's good enough for me.
The fair at old Scarborough
I'll be there on the morrow
With no sleeves, 'tis my sorrow
And that's good enough for me
Gimme that red wine in Dunfermline
While I'm wearing gold and ermine
Tell Pat Spence that I'm determined
And he's good enough for me
Two brothers from Bruton Town went wild
When there sister by a servant was beguiled
It may not have been good enough for Child
But it's good enough for me
Gotta love that Tom the Rhymer
(Learned it from my Aunt Jemimer)
Ain't no ballad that's sublimer
And it's good enough for me.
Dig that tale of twin corvidae!
Fun to sing and fun to read - I
Trust on this we're all agreed? Aye!
Sure is good enough for me.
CHRISTIAN
We will worship with the Fundies Say the Baptists, "We're the only
With their itchy hair-shirt undies We're the one church that's not phony
If they don't bring "Mrs. Grundy," If you give us all your money
Then it's good enough for me! Then to Heaven you shall go!
It was good for old Jehovah Let's all listen up to Jesus
He had a son who was a nova! He says rich folks like old Croesus
Hey there, Mithras! Move on ova'! Will be damned until Hell freezes
Another resurrection Day! And that don't sound good to me!
Tho J.C.'s into fish, too, Anytime that I start hearin'
He's an avatar of Vishnu "Jesus loves you" I start leerin'
So he is welcome here, too, Maybe so, but not like Brian
And that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me!
We will finally pray to Jesus Oh we'll all be Fundamental
From our sins we hope he frees us And be Holy Testamental
Eternal life he guarantees us And never Trancendental
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
All the Christians pray to Jesus And let's not forget Pelagius
Every Sunday on their kneeses Though some call him outrageous
Then they do just what they pleases He is pious and courageous
For the rest of every week. And he's good enough for me!
Oh the Christians worship Jesus Oh my name is Torquemada
But their sermons sure don't please us I burn Luth'rans in Granada
It's a Sin each time ya sneezes It's all for the Holy Fadda
That ain't good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
We will worship Christian Jesus Let us worship this Jehovah
And do just like Saint Paul pleases All you other gods move ovah
That we will... when Hades freezes! Cause the One God's taking over
And that's good enough for me! That sounds awful dull to me!
Whether Low Church or it's High Church And the Romans said of Jesus
Or it's Pie-Up-In-The-Sky Church "Let's kill him, he don't please us"
Come on down and visit my Church "But the Atheists will tease us"
'Cause it's good enough for me! And thats good enough for me
Well you can worship Jesus Six hundred sixty-six-o
Go ahead and pray to Jesus Is The Beast up to his tricks-o
But I tell you, he don't please us Revelations' pretty sick-o
Just leave my Gods to me! But it's good enough for me!
Well I hear your god's named Jesus Take the Blarney Stone and pitch it
You can do just as you pleases To the nuns of St. Bridget
Even bless me if I sneezes Tho they're pious, they're not frigit
Cause its good enough for me! And they're good enough for me!
It was good enough for Jesus Let us pray to the Virgin Mary
Though Paul's doctrine doesn't please us Let us pray to the Virgin Mary
We prefer a faith that frees us As our Rosary we carry
And that's good enough for me And she's good enough for me!
To the Pope we will all flock I'll pray just like the Essenes
Cause Martin Luther was a crock And I'll eat just bread and beans
Remember Peter was the rock For they lived within their means
And he's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me!
CHRISTIAN EVANGELISTS
Brother Jerry is a cretin Brother Oral's in his tower,
But with all the cash he's gettin' Trusting in the Lord's power
Lotsa folks'll be forgettin Getting richer by the hour,
It's the "Land of the Free!" Now he's got the ransom fee!
Brother Robert's church is Crystal Brother Earnest is a healer
But all the Bible that he's missed'll And not QUITE a wheeler-dealer --
Make you "hotter than a pistol" More a jumper and a squealer
But he's good enough for me! So he's good enough for me!
Brother Jim and Sister Tammy Then there's good ol' Brother Billy
Had a show that was a whammy Bringing souls in willy-nilly.
But now they are in Miami All his trips are kinda silly,
Tryin' t'get back on TV! But he's good enough for me!
It's no good for Billy Graham It's no good for Billy Graham
It's no good for Billy Graham 'Cause he just won't give a damn
It scares Hell out of Billy Graham! 'Cause he's too much of a ham
But it's good enough for me. But it's good enough for me!
That Bob Larson shrieks and hollers Jerry Falwell thinks he's sav-ed
Fighting demons in his callers In a lamb's blood he's been lav-ed
Save his program: SEND YOUR DOLLARS! And HE thinks that I'M deprav-ed
And that's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me!
It was good for Oral Roberts The pro-lifers think they're winnin'
It was good for Oral Roberts And they still don't think they're sinnin'
Not so good for elves and hobbits As they shoot down helpless women
And it's good enough for me! That ain't Christian, don't you see!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: GENERAL
You can dance and wave the thyrsos And to help things get real racous
And sing lots of rowdy verses The priests of Pan and Bacchus
Till the neighbors holler curses, Will hold a boffing contest!
And that's good enough for me! And that's all right with me!
We will all bow to Hephaestus Let's call on Coriolis
As a blacksmith he will test us For all the winds that blow 'es
'Cause his balls are pure asbestos To feel the the ra-in's sweet kiss
So he's good enough for me! That's good enough for me!
Now Danae was sweet as flowers, There's that lusty old Priapus
She was into golden showers; He's just itching to unwrap us.
And that showed her Zeus' power (He'd do more to us than tap us
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!)
It was good enough for Cupid We remember Ariadne
It was good enough for Cupid To whom Theseus was a cad, he
His wings look kind of stupid Split and left her feeling badly
But that's good enough for me! Good old Bacchus set her free!
To Prometheus let us hark If you plan to court Medusa
In bringing fire, he made his mark At her place in Syracusa
Or we'd be dancing in the dark Take a mirror; what's the use-a
And that's not good enough for me! Getting stoned before your spree?
We had better worship Neptune If you pray unto Uranus
We had better worship Neptune Then your crime is truly henious
If we don't we'll all be wet soon You can stick it in your...songbook
And that's wet enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Let us all join with the Dryads A most vile persisten lecher
Let us all join with the Dryads Scorned by one, set out to catch her
Trees may not be quite the Triad When his magic couldn't fetch her
But they're good enough for me! Poor Atlanta turned to me!
It was good for old Achilles We will run the Lupercalia
Though death gave his Mom the willies With our leather paraphenalia
She Styx-dipped him by the heelies Substitute for genitalia
And that's good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me!
Let us never forget Puck It was good for lovely Artemis
Leads us wand'ring thru the muck Who'd like to get to the heart of us
He don't give a flying fleabite She's glad to be a part of us
But he's Fool enough for me! And she's good enough for me!
In the temple which is Hebe's We will worship Queen Omphale
And constructed by the Sea-Bees Who drove Heracles to folly
She can cure the heebie-jeebies For they dressed in drag, by golly!
Which is good enough for me! I dunno if that's for me!
We will all go worship Plutus We will go and worship Vesta
And with riches he'll salute us For her cooking is the best-a
All that gold would surely suit us All the food at the fiesta
And it's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me!
I'll bow down and worship Ops Let us sing to Mother Hera,
'Cause we think that she is tops Papa Zeus had best beware-a,
Turns a lotta guys into Pops 'Cause his wife's a holy terror
And she's good enough for me! That's good enough for me.
Let us all sing for the Dryad Let us run from the Bacchantes
Let us all sing for the Dryad For they're not your maiden Aunties
For bulldozers make them may-ad And they don't wear underpanties
But they're good enough for me! But they're mad enough for me!
We will all team up in dyads Sweet Persephone was roaming
With the Oreads and Dryads Through the meadows far from home 'n
Succubi and Sylphs and Naiads Pluto grabbed her -- awful omen!
Cause we like variety! (Though it shows he has good taste...)
I asked questions of the Sybil
And she gave me back a riddle
And she left me in a muddle
But that's good enough for me!
Old man Ovid wrote the book on
Myths the art-historians look on
And that actors still can cook on:
"The Metamorphoses."
By that crossword muse Erato!
It was good enough for Plato,
It was good enough for Cato,
And it's good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: ANACREON
Anacreon's drinkin' hearty Tho they wrote "Star Spangled Banner"
At a never-ending party On Anacreon's pinanner
Charter member from the start, he's He has such a laid-back manner
Got the seat I'd like for me! That he's good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: APHRODITE
In the church of Aphrodite Aphrodite in her bower
She's a mighty righteous sightie, Calls her lovers by the hour
The Priestess wears a see through nightie Joyful loving is her dower
And she's good enough for me And she's good enough for me!
We will all see Aphrodite We all worship Aphrodite,
Though she's pretty wild and flighty And Her sister bold Astarte,
She will meet us in her nightie They both throw a lovely party,
And she's good enough for me! And that's just fine with me!
We will worship Aphrodite It was good for Aphrodite
We will worship Aphrodite It was good for Aphrodite
'Cause we've seen her in her nightie Cause she doesn't wear a nightie
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: APOLLO
We will worship old Apollo In the Temple of Apollo
He's got others beat all hollow All the laurel leaves we'll swallow
Let him lead and we will follow Then the colored trails will follow
And that's good enough for me! And that's stoned enough for me!
We'll sing praises to Apollo; It was good for Greek Apollo
Where the Sun God leads we'll follow Though his act is hard to follow
('Though his head's a little hollow) Full of lyres I cannot swallow
He's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
It was good for fair Apollo We'll sing praises to Apollo
For the Sun's rays he doth follow Where the Sun-God leads, I'll follow
He'll be back again tomorrow From Ionia to Gaul-o
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: ARIES
We will -not- go worship Aries We're not crazy over Aries
Tho his chest's a mat o' hair, he's For his men give us the scaries
Down on Wogs and Pinks and Fairies And they kill like Christ's and Mary's
And that isn't cool, by me! Which ain't good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: ATHENA
If you're worshipping Athena At Troy nobody was mean-a
Then your morals must be clean-a That the Great Goddess Athena
And your brain a little keen-a Mopped them up with Ajax clean-a
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: BACCHUS
Let us raise a toast to Bacchus, Young Bacchus in the springtime
We will raise a royal ruckus, Leads the dancers round the grapevine
Then we'll lay us down and fuck us Soon those grapes are gonna be wine
That's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will venerate old Bacchus When we worship Bacchus
Drinking beer and eating tacos The ethanol will sock us
Til you've tried it please don't knock us We'll all get good and raucous
'Cause it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will frolic with old Bacchus And what about this Bacchus,
We don't care if some folks mock us Who lives just to raise a ruckus?
'Cause his rites are rather raucous Loosens women so they'll fuck us,
And they're good enough for me! Well, that's good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: CYBELE
Was a time, so I've heard tell, a It was good enough for Cybele
Fine and promising young fella She brought Attis back from Hell
Gave his all to serve Cybele Though his tee-tee wasn't well
But that's damn well not for me! But it's good enough for me
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: DEMETER
Demeter's bees within the hive Let us pray to our Demeter
Hum with joy to be alive In the fields we'll go to greet her
Matriarchy is no jive Then we'll grind her up and eat her
And it's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: DIANA
Diana is a little spikey We will sing for great Diana
And she is a little dyke-ey Who will teach of love and honor
You don't have to be a Psych-e But you really gotta wanna!
To know that's right for me! 'Cause she's tough enough for me!
All the hunters start convergin'
When Diana is emergin'
It's too bad she's still a virgin
But there's still hope left for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: DIONYSUS
Let's all drink to Dionysus Let us dance with Dionysus
Wine and women beyond prices! And get drunk on wine and spices
He made a Maenad out of my Sis! The Christians call them "vices"
And that's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me!
We all worshipped Dionysus Dionysius drank his wine down
'Till we ran into a crisis: And the Bacchae stumbled all 'round
The bar had raised its prices; And the pirate ship went aground
That's not good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: JUNO
We will go and worship Juno There's one thing that I do know
For there's one thing that we do know Zeus' favorite is Juno
She did not burn Brother Bruno She's the best at doing...you know!
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: PAN
In his dancing Pan will lead them Pan's pipes got plugged last summer
When his pipes call we will heed them And it really was a bummer
In truth tho, he don't need them Finally had to call a plumber!
He's more than enough for me! But he's good enough for me!
Oh we will go and worship Pan, Pan and all the satyrs prayed in
'Cause he just don't give a damn! Chorus when they saw a maiden
Grab a woman or a man, "What a great place to get laid in!"
And that's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
We'll all worship mighty Pan At the dancing Pan will gloat
Tho he's boffing all he can And to yells give lusty throat-
Be it goat or sheep or man, He could really get your goat.....
It's good enough for me! But he's good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: SAPPHO
It was good enough for Sappho It was good enough for Sappho
With her lezbo on her lap-o With her lady on her lap-o
But from men she'll take no crap-o She put Lesbos on the map-o
And that's good enough for me! With her pagan poetry!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: VENUS
Shall we sing a verse for Venus, We went off to worship Venus
Of the Gods she is the meanest, By the Gods! You should have seen us!
Cause she bit me on my...elbow! Now the Clinic has to screen us...
And it's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Venus We will sing our staves to Venus
She'd have sighed if she'da seen us We will sing our staves to Venus
Letting morals come between us Tho I think this rhyme is henious
And she's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
We will all bow down to Venus There's that bathing beauty, Venus
As we dance upon Mt. Zenos She'd just love to lay between us.
We will worship with our....voice There's three ways to take a penis
And that's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: HADES
We will even worship Hades It was good enough for Hades
Though he dwells among the shadies Tho I'm glad he didn't make us
He still picks up pretty ladies At least, he won't try to save us
And he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
There is room enough in Hades I was down in Hades
For lots of criminals and shadies With a half-dressed chamber-maidie
And disreputable ladies, Who turned out to be Aunt Sadie!
And they're good enough for me! Nightmare enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: HECATE
There are those who, when they've got e- It was good enough for Hecate
Normous problems that are knotty She's trying to make a witch of me
They just take them to Hecate I wish I could choose which one of three
And that's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
We'll all worship Hecate
Tho we don't know what to say
And she'll prob'ly bitch us out because this verse just doesn't rhyme.
*thunderclap* Oh, ****....
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: HERMES
If you have the itchy-squirmies We will venerate old Hermes
Then you better pray to Hermes With his staff entwined with wormies
He will cure you of your germies Warding off the nasty germies
And he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: POSEIDON
We will worship with Poseidon We will worship old Poseidon
We will meet him when the tide's in And the dolphin he's a-ridin'
All the maidens he will ride in Tho it has a scaly hide on
Then he'll give 'em all to me! Still, that's good enough for me!
CLASSICAL PAGANISM: ZEUS
We will go to worship Zeus We've neglected Father Zeus
Though his morals are quite loose Tho it seems a bit obtuse
He gave Leda quite a goose We think more of Mother Goose
And he's good enough for me! But he's good enough for me!
We will pray to Father Zeus Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus'
In his temple we'll hang loose Tho he's lost his vital juices
Eating roast beef au jus, The old boy still has his uses
And that's good enough for me! And he's good enough for me!
COMMUNISIM
Millions Marx and Lenin follow Some still worship Chairman Mao
In the "Little Red Book" wallow But I'll bet that Deng Xiao -
Their Party line I cannot swallow Ping will soon bring back the Dao
There are better gods for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will worship Karl Marx There are some who fall a-grinnin'
Carry Red Flags in the parx At the cult of Marx and Lenin
Only make love in the darx They kill heretics for sinnin'
And that's Marxism to me! And that's proof enough for me!
We will all follow the Dao We will all go follow Castro
Never bathe, like Chairman Mao Tho his country's a disastro
If we could only figure hao Watch him for his final gasp-o
It's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
CONFUCIANISM
Let us read works of Confucius We used to study old Confucius
As we walk thru Massachusetts As we sat there on our tushes
In white robes that freeze our tushes We're learning but don't push us
But it's good enough for me! And thats good enough for me
I read the old I-Ching
And the yarrow stalks I fling
And it tells me everything
And that's good enough for me!
DAO
All the Chinese pray to Yao Next to Yao, they worship Yu
For he showed the farmers hao He built roads and bridges tu
And there's bumper harvests nao And canals - there's quite a few -
Which is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Oh I'm following the Tao
Here and there and then and now
But I cannot tell you how
And it's good enough for me!
DEUS EX MACHINA
CHORUS: Gimme that database religion
Gimme that database religion
Gimme that database religion
It's good enough for me...
Let us bow to mighty UNIX I will learn to use SQL,
And its heiroglyphic runix So my searches will all run well,
Wearing print-out paper tunix Though the learning curve can be hell,
And that's good enough for me! It's good enough for me!
I will stick with my flat-file, CA-Clipper can compile
Though it may be lacking style, RDDs will make you smile
Its ease-of-use makes me smile, (though its queries take awhile)
And that's good enough for me! Still it's good enough for me!
Oh, 4D it is a monster We're all aware that FoxPro
And can be slow as molasses Runs in Windows and is not slow
At least now it's with compiler (and it's what my bosses bought) so
But it was good enough for Guy! It must be good enough for me!
I will write my code for PICK now And then Pr1me bought INFORMATION
I will write my code for PICK now So there was massive consternation
And when I'm finished I will say WOW! What understated observation --
And that's good enough for me... Was not good enough for me!
I use , not Lotus, I will organize mine relationally,
Though the market-share is bogus; So it re-indexes sensationally --
Like that famous racing tortoise, It's only useful occassionally,
It is good enough for me! But that's good enough for me!
I'll print data from my floppy, I used to perl my flat-file data;
And I'll file the paper copy -- I ran on Unix, so I hadda,
It keeps my secretary happy Now I do it 'cuz it's fasta
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will keep on writing FOCUS You may code your CRTFORMs
Because Gerry came and woke us They're not dash-CRTFORMs
We will work our hocus-pocus Just wait for MAINTAIN & WINFORMs
And it's good enough for me! They'll be good enough for me!
It was good enough for Simon Fortran, I remember the P-Eight-Fifty
Good enough for Simon Fortran, With 2K you've got to be thrifty
Good enough for Simon Fortran, But the Instruction set's quite nifty
And it's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
You might think that I'm a yahoo, I am getting one of those work-
Hacking on my seven-oh-two, Stations that are known as PERQ
But it's good enough for Big Blue, Even though there's the odd quirk
And that's good enough for me! It's good enough for me!
Now that wire-wrap we're routing We're 'puter hackers who speak jargon
Very soon we'll all be booting And may play chess with good old Sargon
Yeah Gimme that old time computing Have ya got yer mountain boots on?
It's good enough for me! (We'll go climbing soon, you see!)
We will write our code in COBOL I like old Hewlett-Packard,
DB2, FORTRAN, and SNOBOL Whose old software can be hackered
Wanna SPICE up that old low-ball? And their printers' been all lacquered
They're all good enough for me! And they're good enough for me!
They revered ancient ENIAC I will stick with DOS
And sacrificed to UNIVAC Because Windows is a loss
Now we sing our chants on VAX pack And I don't have to burn joss
And that's good enough for me! Sticks to make it work, you see!
Now the Internet is wired
With the texts that we require
For our rites to be inspired -
They're on World Wide FTP!
DISCORDIANISM
Let us sing to old Discordia And the brave Illuminatti
Cause it's sure she's never bored ya Can hail Eris in a body
And if she's good enough for ya Tho we think they're rather dotty
Then she's good enough for me! They're good enough for me!
We will sing a verse for Eris Let us do our thing for Eris
(Golden apples for the fairest!) Goddess of the discord there is
Though she sometimes likes to scare us Apple's golden, it's not ferrous
But she's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
There are those who worship Eris It was good enough for Eris
There are those who worship Eris We'd love to have her near us
If you're one of them, you scare us! Her apple is the fairest
So keep away from me! And she's good enough for me!
It was good for the goddess Eris We all know the goddess Eris
Who in anger would not spare us She had an apple for the fairest
Gave an apple for to snare us But we've got to learn to share, is
And that's good enough for me! That good enough for you?
It was good enough for Eris- Let us sing of Old Discordia
All her followers she'd embarras Cuz it's sure she's never bored ya
And it's said she couldn't care less Turned the goddess's heads with flora
So it's good enough for me! And she's good enough for me!
(THE ALMIGHTY) DOLLAR
Oh, the dollar is our Saviour There are those who scream and holler
If we spend Her or we save Her And get hot under the collar
She controls all our behaviour For their god, Almighty Dollar,
There's not enough for me! Who is good enough for me!
Let us praise the Almighty Dollar Oh the Dollar is the True God
Let us praise the Almighty Dollar Not the Sun God or the Moon God
Tele-Evangelistic holler 'Cause it's my God and it's your God
And it's good enough for me! And that's God enough for me!
DRUIDS AND FAERIE: GENERAL
We will worship like the Druids, In Pwyll's hall you will be welcome
Drinking strange fermented fluids, But he's not at home too often
Running naked through the woo-ids, Spends all his time in Annwyfn
Coz that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
I'll go get my golden sickle We will worship like Zen Druids
And I'll wear it where it tickles In their non-existant wooids
It ain't used for cuttin' pickles! Don't try to think, just dooid!
And it's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
We will bow down to Cuchulain That old wondrous faerie, Morgan
He's got all the women droolin' Could appreciate an organ
Tell you brother, I'm not foolin Just as long as it was workin'
And that's good enough for me And that's good enough for me!
Now there was this wizard, Merlin, Oh the Welsh gods, -you- announce 'em
Really kept the world a-twirlin' Asking my gods to renounce 'em
'Til he got mixed up in girlin' But our gods, I can't pronounce 'em
But he's good enough for me! Being tongue-tied's not for me!
Wrap your sacrifice in wicker We will sing a verse for Rhiannon
It will make the flames burn quicker Who the Celts had had a handle on
Tho the smell makes some folks sicker When she took their kilted men on
It's still good enough for me! And she's good enough for me!
We will play with the Pookah Govannon is a gas
It will aspect as a hookah And His balls are made of brass
Or a haunted pressure-cookah He shoots light'ning from his ass
But that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will dance 'round with the Dus We all will worship Bridget
Tho he plays us fast and loose 'Cause She never will be frigit
He plays jokes on me and youse She takes giants, men and midgits
But he's good enough for me! And She's good enough for me!
DRUIDS AND FAERIE: ISAAC BONEWITS
You don't wanna be alone with There's this Druid who is Jewish
That silly Isaac Bonewits He is nice and sometimes foolish
He's the Arch-Druid we moan with "Oy vey! You don't -look- Druish!"
And he's good enough for me! "Let's define our terms," says he!
DRUIDS AND FAERIE: MORRIGAN
If you like aggressive women It was good enough for Morrigan
Morrigan with tricks is brimmin' Who will not be called a bore again
Do you groove on S&M-in'? For she is the Battle Raven
Then she's just the one for you! And it's good enough for me!
Now the Morrigan is haughty,
And at times she's rather naughty,
But only if you're caught-y
And that's good enough for me!
DRUIDS AND FAERIE: SIDHE
We will party with the Sidhe Said the Sidhe to their new war-duke
For a hundred years or three "You must quell Balor, that fierce gook;
And get duct-taped to a tree "Just remember -- USE THE FORCE, LUGH!
And that's good enough for me! "You'll be good enough for us!"
We will visit with the Sidhe
And we'll drink until we're giddy
Leave behind G. Gordon Liddy
And that's good enough for me!
DRUIDS AND FAERIE: THE WILD HUNT
We'll go riding with Arawn When the Wild Hunt fills the evening
In the dark before the dawn With a howling and a screaming
Wildest Hunt that we've been on! How the Lady's eyes are gleaming
But it's good enough for me! And that's where I wanna be!
When I hear the Ban-Sidhe wailing When the Morrigu are riding
Sure it sets my heart a-quailing And the fell Trollwives are striding
Death behind someone is trailing I'm sure going into hiding!
And I hope it isn't me! 'Cause that battle's not for me!
EGYPTIAN: GENERAL
When we all bowed down to Nuit We will pray with those Egyptians
There was really nothin' to it Build pyramids to put our crypts in
(Alex Sanders made me do it...) Cover subways with inscriptions,
But that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me.....!
There's the God who is a monkey Let us worship Egyptian Min
His behaviour's kinda funky Christians call our orgies "sin"
And he makes a lousy bunkie But New Morality is 'in!'
But he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
It was good for Mother Hequet We'll all be Egyptian mummies
Who bought babes with lots of racket With band-aids 'round our tummies
It was good for Mother Hequet And we'll stagger 'round like rummies
And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Thoth (or should we say Tehuti?) We will pray with Ankh-Sen-Amen
Thinks that scholarship's our duty And we'll eat our bowls of ramen
Though he's more than somewhat snooty 'Cause I figure good old Amen-
That is good enough for me! -Hotep's good enough for me!
We will call on Nyarlathotep There's an Ibis-headed cutie,
That black dude with all the makeup Keeplng records is his duty,
Do you dare to let his name drop? And his name's Tahuti-Frutti
Still, he's good enough for me! That's good enough for me!
I will worship the god Aton
Yes the good old sun-god Aton
Tho he's nearly been forgotton
He's good enough for me!
EGYPTIAN: AMMON
Oh you need no priests for Ammon We will go to worship Ammon
He looks kindly upon laymen He will send to end a famine
'Course he'd much rather lay women Bagels, cream cheese and smoked salmon
And he's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me!
EGYPTIAN: BAST
We'll all honor Lady Bast We will worship feline Bast
'Cause her purring (while it lasts) Though we know she's sort of fast
Keeps familiars off our ass, Pass the mice, and raise a glass-
And it's good enough for me... She's sure good enough for me!
We will venerate Bubastis We will venerate Bubastis
Cause my cat walked up and ast us We will venerate Bubastis
(Now the cat box is DISASTROUS!) If you want in, then just ast us!
But it's good enough for me! 'Cause that's good enough for me!
EGYPTIAN: HORUS
Here's an invitation for us We will all do praise to Horus
All to go and worship Horus In an old Egyptian chorus
Doff your clothes and join the chorus If there's something in it for us
And that's good enough for me! Then it's good enough for me!
Let us sing the praise of Horus
As our fathers did before us
We're the New Egyptian Chorus
And we sing in harmony!
EGYPTIAN: ISIS
I prayed to mighty Isis Let us not forget ol' Isis
To relieve romantic crisis She will help you thru your crisis
Now I've got satyriaisis 'N make your dreams glow brightest
Which is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will go and worship Isis We will go and honor Isis
Tho she won't help lower prices She will help us thru our crisis
We won't find someone as nice as 'Cause she has no minor vices
She - that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Let us worship Lady Isis Bumper stickers of all sizes
For her virtues and her vices At quite reasonable prices
Of the Gods she is the nices' They say 'ankh' if you love Isis
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Isis.
She will help us in a crisis,
And she's never raised her prices,
So it's good enough for me!
EGYPTIAN: OSIRIS
It was good for old Osiris We will worship old Osiris
But what I want to inquire is: As we sit and smoke papyrus
Can you Xerox (tm) a papyrus? We will prob'ly catch a virus
And it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
We will bow down to Osiris You can read of King Osiris
At the blooming of the Iris And his death-by-kinship virus
And he'll save us from the virus In some moldy old papyrus
Which is good enough for me! That's good enough for me!
EGYPTIAN: RA
Let us all now worship Ra We will sing the praise of Ra
And take care of our Ka And of Ammon who goes "B-a-a-a!"
We'll all sit round and go "Ah-h-h!" And the Pharaoh's whole brou-ha-ha
Which is good enough for me! Which is good enough for me!
We will sing a song of Ra We will pray to Ra and Ammon
He's the god without a flaw Just like Tutankhamen,
If his humour's rather raw, And teach our friends embalmin',
Still he's good enough for me! They're good enough for me.
ELVIS
We will all worship Elvis, We all worship good ol' Elvis,
He's the one with the Pelvis, Though he was kind of selfish,
And some think he's still alive, which, He could rock and grind his pelvish
Is good enough for me! And he's good enough for me!
FICTIONAL GODS, DEMONS AND HEROES: GENERAL
Here's to those who copy Conan We will sing of Foul the Render,
Here's to those who copy Conan Who's got Drool Rockworm on a bender
They're just Followers of Onan In his cave in Kiril Threndor--
And that's good enough for me! They're both too much for me!
There are followers of Conan. Of Lord Shardik you must beware;
And you'll never hear 'em groanin' To please him you must swear;
Followed Crom up to his throne(in) 'Cause enraged he's a real Bear,
And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
St. Waldo is a were Ethyl is the female part
Call on him if you dare Of Sativa's holy art
He may come on as a bear Drink her if you've got the heart
And he's good enough for me! For a holy man to be!
Azahoth is in his Chaos Donal Graeme is part Maran
Azahoth is in his Chaos And the Com'yn all use "laran"
Now if only he don't sway us Why the hell am I still Terran?
That is good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
We will worship Holy Ford We will sing the Jug of Issek,
Beta, Delta, Gamma, Lord And of Fafhrd his chief mystic,
But the Alphas might get bored Though to thieving Mouser will stick,
A Brave New World for you and me! And that's good enough for me!
Let us note the might of Ils We'll invoke the blessed Camber
With a thousand or more quills And the Unicorn of Amber
By the light that from him spills And the wizard Deliamber
He is good enough for me! They're good enough for me!
The late return of the Prophet Zarquon We will praise the gods of Hagar
Caused his followers to hearken At a sort of Nordic seder
As the Universe went dark on Buy the sacraments from Zabar
All of you and me! And that's good enough for me!
Oh the Trekkies worship Spock "Necronomicon?" I'll buy one!
To the movies they will flock "Liber Eibon" I'll rely on
Girls as baldy as a crock And "The Protocols of Zion"
That's not good enough for me! They're all fake enough for me!
We will worship Ken and Barbie We will worship Paul Atreides
And eat lunch down at Arby's Tho he sort of lost his sight he
For their age, they're pretty hardy! Got a son that's rather mighty
And their good enough for me! And a Sandworm now is he!
Michael Valentine is grokking Roger Elwood got religion
Clothing usage he is stopping No more sex in Science Fiction
"Thou art God" the phrase he's dropping Claims we've all got drug addiction
And I'm good enough for me! He ain't good enough for me!
There may be reincarnation We will sing now of Organians
There may be reincarnation With their giant psychic brainians
Let us hope we keep our station If they'd just fix those Iranians
and be born again as fen! They'd be good enough for me!
You may marching with your Cross go There are Frogs out in the Abyss
You may marching with your Cross go Armed with athame and labrys
I will worship Ghu and Roscoe They are green and rather scabrous
'Cause they're good enough for me! But they're good enough for me!
I won't worship ol' Bill Cosby We will light up to Sativa
Tho he's funnier than Fozzie I've got toke-weed up my sleeve, a
He is smiling just because he Trick I learned in the Yeshiva
Makes much money on TV! And that's good enough for me!
St. Blooper's rather clumsy St. Frieda's quite a mama
If he hits you, you'll feel numsy She can pinch you thru your armor
But he's got a sense of whimsy Boff her to increase your karma
And I -like- the S.O.B.! She's more than enough for three!
St. Gerald's quite a fellow
(censored verse) Don't you dare to call him yellow
For he will make you bellow
So he's good enough for me!
Sativa is no peon
He's the head of our pantheon
Better him than snorting freon
'Cause that'll play hell with your nasal passages man.
Where'd you get this dope anyway? I mean.......
Far-r-r-r-r farking out!
Let us shout to the Goddess Lum Let us huumm for the Great Pumpkin
Let us shout to the Goddess Lum Hum hm huumm hum hum huumm humhumn
From another world she's come From the pumpkin patch he's comin'
And she's good for An-a-me! And it's good enough for me!
Let us question Deep Thought too Let us praise the Babel Fish
Let us question Deep Thought too Let us praise the Babel Fish
'Cause the answer's Forty-Two! For it made God but a wish
And it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
Let us look for the Invisible Man We will worship Holy Ghu
Let us look for the Invisible Man And be faithful, good and true
And see him if we can Though he looks like a G-nu
And he's good enough for me! He's good enough for me!
It was good for Uncle Fester We will revelate Glaaki
Though he's really quite a jester Though the spiny one is wacky
And a perfect light bulb tester You might even say, he's ... tacky
And that's good enough for me But he's good enough for me!
Asterix has got a potion How the hell can Klono manage
Sets testosterone in motion Not to do himself some damage?
Now that's quite a motion-lotion But with all those weird appendage-
And it's good enough for me! -es he's good enough for me!
Let us sing of Michael Valentine We've decided you are naughty,
That old Martian Smith is mighty fine- If you're not of Landru's body,
He's a stranger in a strange land: Mine! Though his robes get kind of shoddy,
But he's good enough for me! They're good enough for me!
Let us raise our shoes to Brian
The Lord of Monty Python
To catch him we keep tryin'
Cause he's gourd enough for me
F,G,D & H: CTHULHU
We will worship mighty Cthulhu We will worship Great Cthulhu,
H. P. Lovecraft's big old hoodoo We will worship Great Cthulhu,
(1930's fiction voodoo....) And we'll feed him Mr. Sulu
But that's good enough for me! 'Cause that's good enough for me!
Let us sing to Lord Cthuhlu We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
Don't let Lovecraft try to fool you We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
Or the Elder Gods WILL rule you Burn a candle for Yog-Soggoth
And that's good enough for me! And the Goat With a Thousand Young
Of the Old Ones, none is vaster Well it's good enough for H*****
Even Cthulhu's not his master He's a mighty kinky master
I refer to the unspeakable H***** When you pray he goes much faster
and that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
And for those who follow Cthulhu Let's go worship Great Cthulhu,
We have really got a lulu: And run naked like a Zulu,
Drop a bomb on Honolulu! You and me and Mr. Sulu,
'Cause that's good enough for you! And that's good enough for me!
We will worship Great Cthulhu We will worship Holy Cthulhu
You and me and Mr. Sulu And we'll run around like Zulus
Howling like a drunken Zulu Then we'll feed him Mr. Sulu,
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Cthulhu We will bow down to Cthulhu
Who'd eat me and who'd eat you, too; We think he is quite a lulu
If it's good enough for Cthulhu He's not good enough for Zulus
Then it's good enough for me But he's good enough for me!
We are all afraid of Cthugha Necronomicon's still leading
Who just came in down the flue(gha) All the others it's exceeding
I hope that caviar's beluga But don't move your lips when reading
Or we'll all be toasty treats. 'Cause that isn't good for you
We'll bow down and worship Cthulhu
Don't let Elder Gods' priests fool you
With the stars right he shall rule you
And you'll jibber and flop with me
We will go out in the pasture,
And we'll try to court disaster,
As we summon mighty . . .
*At this point several people should run up and stifle the singer to keep him from
saying the name of the dreaded H*****, who will appear and eat him ......
F,G,D & H: THE FORCE
It was good for old Darth Vader For we are the Knights of Jeddi
It was good for old Darth Vader And in us the Force is reddi
He'll be back a little later Grab your sabres, throw confetti
And he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will even worship Yoda Let us all use the Force
Who is small as an iota Let us all use the Force
But fulfills his Jedi quota And stay on the proper course
Which is good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
If the Force makes you a hater We will worship like the Wookie
Tall and black like ol' Darth Vader 'Cause he gets a lot of nookie
And not recalled by Ralph Nader Thinks the DeathStar's just a cookie
Then you're good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
F,G,D & H: GODZILLA
We'll pay homage to Godzilla We will worship great Godzilla
In the Oriental thrilla Or King Kong, that big gorilla
He went and stomped the whole megillah If ya don't, then they will kill ya
And he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
F,G,D & H: A CANTICLE FOR LIEBOWITZ
Here's a canticle for Liebowitz Here's a canticle for Liebowitz
That old Jew, up there he sitz. Up in Heaven where he sitz
There just ain't that many rhymes that fitz Cracks his knuckles & he spitz
But he's good enough for me! And he's good enough for me!
F,G,D & H: MARVEL COMICS
I won't worship ol' Dormammu Let's not worship old Galactus
To that fire-head I'll say "Damn you!" He's more nasty than a cactus
I will worship whales named Shamu Eating worlds takes lots of practice
Or the Chicken of the Sea! He's too scary for me!
F,G,D & H: R.A. WILSON
We've all heard of Illuminati Robert Wilson keeps on bookin'
We've all heard of Illuminati For his titles I keep lookin'
Their security's kinda spotty He always knows what's cookin'
It's a conspiracy for me! But don't take him seriously!
F,G,D & H: J.R.R. TOLKIEN
In the words of Gandalf Stormcrow It sure suited old Yondalla,
We find wisdom that we all know Mother God to hobbit fallah,
When wizards war, away we go Whose furry toes were colored yallah,
And that's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
It was good for Bilbo Baggins We will sing of Iluvatur,
It was good for Bilbo Baggins Who sent the Valar 'cross the water
Treasure sometimes comes with Dragons To lead Morgoth to the slaughter
But it's good enough for me! And that's just fine with me!
FILKING AND OTHER BAD HABITS
B&D songs Barnstead belts out There are songs Frank Hayes recorded
baritonically spelt out, That are tacky, sick and sordid:
though he cannot get the welts out Did you like them? "Yes, we all did!"
they're still good enough for me! Then they're good enough for me!
If you ask him really pretty Bill Gawne has his trusty twelve string
Tom Smith will sing a ditty and when asked, he use'lly will sing
sometimes long or itty bitty and we think that's quite a swell thing
and that's good enough for me. and it sounds real good to me.
When Bill gets here, time we'll borrow, Now the songs Joe Ellis MIDI's
He plays loud to drown our sorrow: Give the guitar pickers fitties
Hear today, and Gawne tomorrow, And they all have cows and kitties
And it's good enough for me. 'Cuz he writes them in flat keys!
Though the keys Joe Ellis chooses
For that MIDI box he uses
Might give some guitarists blueses
I will simply capo three.
FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER
Old man Darwin makes me weary,
'Cause his books are dry and dreary,
And besides, "It's just a theory --
It ain't good enough for me."
FSM may be a doodle,
But a God who looks like food'll,
Sure know how to use His Noodle:
to make mountain, midgit, tree.
HINDU: GENERAL
Just like Swami Sachenanda We will worship Jargonatha
Just like Swami Sachenanda But altho we risk his wrath-a
Hold your breath and throw a tantra There won't none stand in his path-a
And you're good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We'll all study the Vedanta So you want's to be a Deva
We'll all study the Vedanta A real Bodhisavatta
It's no good for sharks and mantas A -really- Old Believe-a
But it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will go and worship Brahma We will read the Kama Sutra
Like a Saddhu or a Llama The positions are quite "outre"
Clad in less than a pyjama But as long as you're not "neutre"
And that's good enough for me! Then it's good enough for me!
HINDU: HAIRY KRISHNAS
We will all sing Hare Krishna Hare Krishna gets a laugh on
We will all sing Hare Krishna When he sees me dressed in saffron
It's not mentioned in the Mishna With my hair that's only half on
But it's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me!
I was singing Hari Rama Hare Krishnas worship Rama
With my friend the Dalai Lama With their tamborines and drum-as
'Til they dumped us in the slamma But their lifestyle is a bumm-a
But that's good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me!
Hare Krishna, Hare Hare We will all sing Hari Krishna
Hare Rama, Hare Hare Shave our heads and hold out dish(na)
Rama Lama, Alabama It's not mentioned in the Mishna
And a heighdy heighdy ho! But it's good enough for me!
If a damsel wears a sari
Krishna's arts can make her tarry
Some folks say that he's too hairy
But he's good enough for me!
HINDU: KALI
There are some that call it folly We will go to worship Kali
When we worship Mother Kali. Though embracing her is folly
She may not be very jolly She'd be quite an armful, golly!
But she's good enough for me! And she's good enough for me!
As the goddess Kali dances I will wait till four-armed Kali
With her worshippers in trances Drags me thru that lonesome valley
You can learn some Hindu stances She's disgusting act-u-all-y
And that's good enough for me! But She's good enough for me!
We will sacrifice to Kali You can sacrifice to Kali
Tho her Thugs don't act too pally Even if you're no Bengali
When you meet them in an alley Just by mugging in an alley
She's still good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Kali has her vengance brewin' Let us take time out to dally
Against all the evil-doin' With the Priestesses of Kali
It was she shot J. R. Ewing! They need petting to get pally
And that's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me!
It was good enough for Kali
Who just slew 'em down in Bali
Though you'd never call her cuddly
Still she's good enough for me.
HINDU: RAMA
We will all go worship Rama Oh I've prayed to the God Rama
Who created quite a drama And done puja to his mama
When he rescued his sweet mama Their story's full of drama
And that's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me!
HINDU: SHIVA
If you want to worship Shiva We will go and worship Shiva
Throw some flowers in the river While we're bathing in the river
But if Shiva will deliver It's so cold it makes me shiver
then that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Let us sing one verse to Shiva We will pray to the god Shiva,
Because it made me a believer The one with many sleeva's
When I saw Parvati's beaver -- Who destroys all disbelivas
It's good enough for me. He's good enough for me.
Well it made me a believer We will sacrifice to Shiva
When I met that old man Shiva We will sacrifice to Shiva
And his Cannibls Sativa If you are a True Believe-a
It's good enough for me. Then you're good enough for me!
HINDU: TANTRA
We will all practice Tantra We will go to practice Tantra
Groans and grunts will be our mantra Don't forget to say your mantra
There is nothing that you can't-ra You don't need to wear no pants, nah-
So it's sex enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
ISLAMIC
We will all bow down to Allah All the warriors for Allah
For he gave his loyal follow- Are sure to have a gala
-Ers the mighty petro-dollah Party time in old Valhalla
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Let us listen to the Prophet We will all recite the Koran
Let us listen to the Prophet We will all recite the Koran
Gets more tail than Andy Offut Scots can stick it in their sporran
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Oh the Muslims worship Allah We will guzzle RC Cola
And some obey the Ayatollah When we join the Ayatollah
And they can't drink alcohol-a 'Cause he ain't no Holy Rollah
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Well I tried to read the Koran All this Muslim hype on Allah
Like some macho Muslim moron Is immensely hard to swallah
But it's just too goddam borin' I myself prefer Damballah
Not good enough for me. That's good enough for me.
A man of wisdom is the Sufi Islam means 'submission'
Of the truth he has no proof, he To the holy Allah's wishin'
Just spins 'round until he's goofy Seven pillars of religion
He's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me!
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
You could join Jehovah's Witness We will witness for Jehovah
Running door to door for fitness Sell "Watchtower" ten times over
Well if you've been blessed with quickness, But it ain't no bed of clover
Then thats good enough for me So I'm sorry; not for me!
JEWISH
If you think that you'll be sav-ed Some guys have a circumcision
If you think that you'll be sav-ed On account of their religion,
If you follow Mogen David An embarrassing incision
Then that's good enough for me! Cut just ENOUGH from me!
Let us worship old Jehovah Let us celebrate Jehovah
All you other gods move ovah Who created us "ab ova"
Cause the one God's takin' over He'll be on tonight on "Nova"
And it's good enough for me! 'Cause he's good enough for me!
Oh the Jews prefer Jehovah You can worship God Adonai
But their life is not all clover Be allowed few things to enjoy
'Cause they're hung with rules all over I'd much rather be just a goy
But that's good enough for me! More comfortable for me!
We will observe Tu b'Shevat We will all observe the Pesach
Its a Jewish holiday that And try not to get Tay-Sachs
Sounds Druidic - but don't say that! For God the waters unlocked
Or the J.A.P.s will come for me! When He set our people free!
Old Jehovah wants your foreskin And we'll even sing to Moses,
So Jehovah wants your foreskin? Though his law's no bed of roses.
What good to him's one more skin? Let him pay us what he owes us
It's good enough on me That's good enough for me.
I put scrolls up at my door
Like my fathers did before
You may say that it's a bore
But it's good enough for me!
When we pray in our mishpuchas,
We can sit down on our tuchas.
All the prayers begin "baruch atah
'donai eloheinu".
Jews, we rest upon the Shabbas,
go to shul, put on our tallis.
We don't work, so never call us
in for that on Saturday!
The Hebrew word for water's mayim.
When we drink we say "l'chayim".
I'll stoop to pick up a dime,
Because that's good enough for me!
Well I have a friend named Mosher.
All the food he eats is kosher.
Given ham he'll tell you "no, sir",
and that's good enough for me!
We shall all sing "Halleluja!"
It's a Hebrew word for "booya!"
When God's done a good thing to ya,
or it's on a holiday.
KABBALLA
We will read from the Kabahlah We will read from the Cabala.
We will read from the Kabahlah Quote the Tree of Life mandala
It won't get us to Valhalla It won't get you in Valhalla,
But it's good enough for me! Yet it's good enough for me!
MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN: GENERAL
To Our Lady of Ephesians We will all bow down to Enlil
Who has taps for all secretions We will all bow down to Enlil
We will dance like Polynesians Pass your Cup and get a refill!
Which is good enough for me! With bold Gilgamesh the Brave!
We will sing to Lady Isis Oh the ancient goddess Nerthus
She'll stand by us in a crisis From herself the Earth did birth us
And She hasn't raised Her prices And I wonder: are we worth us?
And She's good enough for me! But she's good enough for me!
We will all go worship Rimmon Let's go for temple prostitution
All us Pagan men and women It's an ancient institution
And our goblets will be brimmin' That provides a quick solution
And that's good enough for me! For horniness in you and me!
Erishkigal was a vixen It was good enough for Tiamat
But when Nergal got her mixin' Down in Babylon where she was at
Socially, she soon was fixin' Although her chest was kinda flat
His connubiality! She's still the Dragon in the Sea.
We will go and weep for Tammuz We will bow down to the Goddess
And we'll laugh at Springtime's promise As She wears Her Cretan bodice
And a few then will be mommas And the women cry "Come prod us!"
Which is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN: ASTARTE
We will have a mighty Party We will have a mighty orgy
In the honor of Astarte in the honour of Astarte
Grab your chiton - don't be tardy it'll be a mighty party
'Cause she's good enough for me! and it's good enough for me!
We will bow down to Astarte When we gather with Astarte
And we'll have a great big party It will be a lovely party
And your welcome will be hearty And the lovin' will be hearty
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN: BAAL
We will build Baal up an altar We will go and worship Baal
In our duty we'll not falter For he is the Lord of All
And we'll drink our barley malt-er In the fields and in the hall
And that's drunk enough for me! He is good enough for me!
Oh the Phillistines abound
Oh the Phillistines abound
They had the biggest ***** around (damn! That was a good pun...)
And that's good enough for me!
MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN: DAGON
We will hoist a mighty flagon We will all bow down to Dagon
To the honor of ol' Dagon A conservative old pagan
And we won't go on the wagon He still votes for Ronald Reagan
Which is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN: DIMUZI
She got eager for Dimuzi Well Dimuzi's on vacation
Said she'd meet him up by Nuzi He'll be back when spring awakens
Now he's taking quite a snooze, he There will be such recreation
Might revive next century! There will be enough for me!
MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN: ENINNI
With Inanna don't try flirtin' Let us worship sweet Eninni
To your freedom she'll say "Curtain!" Let us worship sweet Eninni
'Cause she finds it most impertin- In a skimpy string bikini
Ent to say "She don't suit me!" And that's good enough for me!
MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN: LILLITH
We will all bow down to Lilith I'll sing some songs to Lilith,
'Cause she doeth what she willith Not so young, and not so girlish,
When she willth Lilith killith and She's always PMS-ish,
But it's good enough for me. but She's good enough for me!
We will go to worship Lillith Lilith wears a lacy nightie
Grab your cup, step up and fill it And She is a little flighty
Tho 'ware she don't make you spill it! She will get you all excite-y
And that's good enough for me! She's wet-dream enough for me!
MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN: MOLOCH
If you want to save your soul, ac- I'll let Moloch light my fire
-Cording to the priests of Moloch Of his worship I won't tire
You must sacrifice a Polack Cheapest baby-sitter's hire....
And that's good enough for me! And that's cheap enough for me!
We will all bow down to Moloch
We will all bow down to Moloch
'Cause his Pope is not a Polack
And that's good enough for me!
MITHRAISM
We will sing a song of Mithras We will all be saved by Mithras
Let us sing a song of Mithras We will all be saved by Mithras
But there is no rhyme for Mithras! Slay the Bull and play the zithras
Still he's good enough for me! On that Resurrection Day!
Oh we all will worship Mithras I'll no longer worship Mithras
Because he was born at Chrith-mas He's the Bull-King with the zithras
And he doesn't know St. Dith-mas Cause he's easy to get pissed off
And that's good enough for me! And I've been gored enough for me.
MOONIES
We will worship Sun Myung Moonie Oh the Moonies worship Moon
Though we know he is a goonie (Not the Goddess but the goon)
All our money he'll have soonly They'd eat his shit without a spoon
And that's good enough for me! And that's not good enough for me!
Sun Moon's kids are kind of funny We will pray to Reverend Moonie
But they stick to him like honey All our friend will think we're loony
He just wants their souls and money As we sing this crazy tune-y,
And it's good enough for him! He's good enough for me.
MORMON (LDS)
We will worship like the Mormons I will have a Mormon mammy
And we'll be Masonic doormen Tho' her hands are kinda clammy
'Round the Temples we'll be swarmin' They believe in polygammy
And that's good enough for me! And that's wives enough for me!
Moroni's job is simple: We'll be reachin' thru the curtain
Blowin' jazz from top the Temples With the women we'll be flirtin'
Loud enough to pop your pimples! Secret handshakes, we are certain
And that's good enough for me! Will be good for you and me!
We will worship with the Mormons We will all be Mormon-aries
'Cause they're not like Martin Bormann Bike riding missionaries
Into gods they'll be re-bornin' And they never talk to fairies
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
NATIVE AMERICAN PAGAN (N. AMERICA)
Let us pray to the Great Spirit Let us pray to the Great Spirit
Let us pray to the Great Spirit Let us pray to the Great Spirit
Like the Eagle he will hear us Like the Thunderbird He'll hear us
And it's good enough for me! And It's good enough for me!
Let us join the Earth Spirits Let us journey like the Shaman
Let us join the Earth Spirits Let us journey like the Shaman
With the Earth they will heal us To the next de-men-shan
And its good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
Some folks worship the Kachinas Some folks pray to the Great Spirit
Some folks worship the Kachinas Most folks just cannot get near it
They look like "deus ex machinas" So they hate it and they fear it
But they're good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
The Kachinas of the Hopi We will dance unto the Sun
Dance about and some act dopey Pull weights stuck thru our buns
They don't leave you feelin' mopey Yank 'em out at a dead run
So they're good enough for me! And that's pain enough for me!
I have gotten in the way-o We will all be Contrary
Walkin' with the Monster Slayer Walk backwards, and we'll marry
He is worthy of a prayer A Sioux "winkte" (that's a fairy!)
And he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Be the Great Spirit devotees We will worship with the Sioux
On the mesa smoke peyote Use the bushes for a loo
'Til we think we're all Coyote And scalp Gen'ral Custer too!
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
NATIVE AMERICAN PAGAN (CENTRAL & S. AMERICA)
Thanks to great Quetzacoatl Praise to Popacatapetl
And his sacred axolotl Just a tiny cigarette'll
And his gift of chocolatl Put him in terrific fettle
And please pass some down to me! So he's good enough for me!
Now watch out for the Maya's, Montezuma liked to start out
They might really try to fry ya, Rites by carrying a part out
Sacrifice people, not papaya's, That would really tear your heart out,
Just as long as its not me! But it's good enough for me!
Quetzacoatl's flyin' And when old Quetzacoatl
With the Toltec and the Mayan Found a virgin he could throttle
And the mushrooms he's been buyin' And put her heart into a bottle
Are good enough for me! It was good enough for me.
We will worship Xochipilli We will worship Xipe-Totec
Though it might be a bit silly Tho it is a little low-tech
Running naked makes me chilly It is not a bit ero-tek (erotic)
But it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
Oh, there's none like Huizlipochtli When the blood it was a-surgin'
For destroyin' people tot'ly Aztec priests wore skins of virgins
Best to worship -him- remotely! Cause they had transvestite urgins
But he's good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me!
We'll do dances to bring water We will worship like the Incas
Prepare animals for slaughter Who were great heroic drinkas
Sacrifice our sons and daughters Tho the Spanish called them stinkas
And it's good enough for me. Still it's good enough for me!
Come and worship Huehueteotl Let us sacrifice to Chac Mol
Sit around and chew peyotl For rain just burn some copal
What a way to get totalled! Hey! There's a flood out in the hall!
And it's good enough for me! And it's wet enough for me!
Let us praise Quetzalcoatl, We will go to worship Inti
When he landed near Seattle, Soon around us we will all see
Blessed the crops, but spooked the cattle, Cocaine being snorted freely
But that's good enough for me. And that's stoned enough for me!
I've worshipped Quetzalcoatl
All the prisoners I did throttle
Threw their hearts into a bottle
It was good enough for me!
NEW AGE
NEW AGE CHORUS: Gimmie that New Aeon Religion
Gimmie that New Aeon Religion
Gimmie that New Aeon Religion
Where everyone's a star!
Oh, our Spirits will awaken Well I'm tired of Ronald Reagan,
Oh, our Spirits will awaken He's too square to be a pagan,
Watch the Universe a-quakin' Let's all vote for Carl Sagan!
Which is Gurdijeff to me! He's good enough for me!
Timmy Leary we will sing to I'll arise at early mornin'
And the things that he was into When the Sun gives me the warnin'
(Well, at least it wasn't Shinto) That the Solar Age is dawnin'
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
In the sky I hear a hummin' Just like Carlos Castenada
It's the UFO's a-comin' Just like Carlos Castenada
That's not banjos that they're strummin It'll get you sooner or later
But it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We've said all we need on Sagan; We will pray for New Age Aquarians,
Let's move on to things more pagan And hang out in Planetariums,
Like the politics of Dagon, Lottuv 'em are Unitarians,
For it's been enough for me! They're good enough for me.
If you follow Numerology Come and be my New Age honey
You must believe the truth will setcha free You can channel fuzzy bunnies
Take some numbers that appeal to thee And we'll make a lot of money
And then multiply by three And that's good enough for me!
NEW WORLD ORDER
CHORUS: Gimme that good old New World Order
Gimme that good old New World Order
Gimme that good old New World Order
It's good enough for me!
Oh, the Commies went kablooie I'm admirin' Boris Yeltsin
Russia's government did a U-ie Makes the Russkies pull their belt in
And the hardliners said "phooie!" Until they get some gelt in
But it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
No more bombs and big explosions We think the New World Order
Here's to peace across the ocean Is a fire and a sword-er
Even tho it's still slow-motion And it seems to rhyme with Mordor
It is good enough for me! And that ain't too good for me!
NORTHERN EUROPEAN (GENERAL)
We will praise the god Toutatis I was there when Lemminkainen
When the Pagan frenzy's got us Crazed the winin' and the dinin'
Till we strain our epiglottis And left poor old Louhi whinin'
And that's good enough for me! Which was quite a sight to see!
We will go and worship Veles There's the Russian god Yarilo
All us Pagan gals and fellows As a love-god he's a thrill-o
And we'll Czech out what he'll sell us When he comes there is no chill-o
And that's good enough for me! And he sounds a lot like me!
We will bow down to Perkunas I remember Vainomoinen
And we'll chant old Baltic 'runos' Chasing Winter on that mornin'
Save the dolphins and the tunas As the Spring came finally dawnin'
And that's good enough for me! And that was good enough for me!
Then there's ol' Koschai the Deathless Baba Yaga's quite a witchy
He will leave you a bit breathless Tho sometimes she's a bit bitchy
Face up to him with steadfastness And her chicken feet are itchy
And it's good enough for me! And she's good enough for me!
OTHER LANGUAGES
FRENCH: GERMAN:
Nous nous appellons Druides, Wir sind immer Volkish
C'est peut-etre un peu stupide, Und wir tanzen nur der Polkish
Et vienon d'Atlantide. Mit Waldnymphen, sehr blo"sish!
Mais c'est bon assez pour moi Es ist fu"r mir gut genug!
Nous allons adorer Horus
Avec tous ces vieux papyrus
On va attraper des virus
Mais moi ça me suffit !
REFRAIN
Je veux ma bonne vieille religion (ter)
Car moi elle me suffit !
J'ai prié la puissante Isis
Pour une douleur au coccyx
Du coup j'ai une satyriasis
Et moi ça me suffit !
On a chanté Hare Rama
Avec mon pote le Dalaï Lama
Et dix calvas dans l'estomac
Et moi ça me suffit !
Je crois que les martyrs d'Allah
Se retrouv'ront au Walhalla
Ca fera un fameux gala
Mais moi ça me suffit !
Mon vieux copain Gautama
Mérite qu'on lui chante "Hosanna"
En enfer il nous jettera pas
Et moi ça me suffit !
J'ai appris par cœur le Coran
C'est pas du tout déshonorant
Pour le reste je suis ignorant
Car moi ça me suffit !
LATIN:
CHORUS: Religio mihi antiqua
Religio mihi antiqua
Religio mihi antiqua
Mihi est bona sat!
Satis bona erat Dagon Satis bona erat Isidi
Ille est piscicaudaton Nos adiuvat adiutari
Iam laudat Roni Regon Non augentur sui preti
Mihi est bonus sat! Mihi est bona sat!
Satis bona erat Osiri Satis bona erat Tehoti
Nos semper conducabat, I- Ocuales licet polire,
am nos non dimittebamur, De rostro inspeculare,
Mihi est bonus sat! Mihi est Bonus sat!
Satis bona est Hermi Satis bona erat Apolloni
Frigorem non potest pati Colentes eius sunt boni,
Chlamydi volat absenti, Nec pigri, nec falsiloqui,
Mihi est bonus sat! Mihi est bonus sat!
QUAKERS
Let us worship like the Quakers We will pray with the Quakers
(silent) Oft confused with the Shakers,
(silent) Of war they are not makers,
It's good enough for me. They're good enough for me.
RASTAFARIANISM
Jah will come to set us free here I be talkin' to da Great Jah
Jah will come to set us free here With me dreadlocks and me ganja
We won't see Him but He'll be here I be a Rastaman, ya!
And that's good enough for us! And it's good enough for me!
Let us mourn Haile Selassie
As a Rasta Saint, he's passe
But as Emperor, he's classy
And that's good enough for me! +
SATANISM
Oh the Satanists worship Satan There are those who worship Satan
And behave so aggravatin' And are just anticipatin'
I think they need castratin' Armageddon's conflagratin'
And that's good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me!
Asmodeus will excite us There are folks who get their hate in
To an orgy he'll invite us They go out and pray to Satan
He may have his High Priest bite us On TV this gets a ratin'
But that's good enough for me! And Geraldo says "Oh, GEE!"
I would go and worship Satan I will kill an old black rooster
If I could memorize verbatim Show that I'm a Satan booster
'Cause with him there ain't no fakin' He's not drawing like he uster
And that kinda frightens me! But he's good enough for me!
We will all go to the Black Mass We will follow Satanism
And kiss the goat on his ass And use a disgusting chrysm
Tho you think it hasn't much class Made of blood and old stale jism
Still it's good enough for me! And that's pretty gross for me!
It was good enough for Satan Then there's Michael Aquino
Whom the Christians are all hatin' Thinks that Set is really keen-o
But the Beast they are awaitin' (Satan moved to Argentine-o
And that's good enough for me After World War Two, you see....)
SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE
Armageddon was the object Let's have one verse that's Carl Sagan's
Of the Manhattan Project. He's seen Earthmen, Martians, Vegans
It was good for ol' Enrico But he's yet to meet us Pagans
And it's good enough Fermi! And that's good enough for me
Well, gather me up in a basket We give thanks to Gregor Mendel
Then find me a lead-lined casket Pea plant's alleles he did bend-el
Three Mile Island blew a gasket Now we breed men just like Grendel
And that's all that's left of me! And that's good enough for me!
There are those who worship science The wacky ol' inventor
And some would send 'em to the lions With his brain a bit off-centre
Without 'em we'd have no appliance Whomped up A-bombs for adventure
So they're good enough for me And that's good enough for me
But the True Religion's Science God gave no short solution
Where we place our great reliance To Mathematics's confusion
'Cause it's laws don't take defiance He put in self-recursion
So it's good enough for me! And that's Godel nuff for me.
SCIENTOLOGY
L. Ron Hubbard liked precision In matters Dianetic
And he founded a religion You need not get frenetic
That has caught a lot of pigeons Make your Engrams copacetic
And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Glory, glory, halleluja Dianetics is copyrighted
Glory, glory, what's it to ya? And they get all excited
L. Ron Hubbard made the moolah Of critique they are affrighted
And that's good enough for me! That's not good enough for me!
JUST PLAIN GRATITUOUS SEX
I got a new diversion Gimme that real old-time religion
It's a new kind of perversion! Where sex ain't doled out in smidgens
I gotta ask: Are you a virgin? And we don't sacrifice no pigeons
'Cause that's good enough for me! It's good enough for me
You are very, very pretty Let's forget those moral urges
As you sing this little ditty Get your spurs and chains and scourges
I like little ditties.... And accentuate your urges
And I like big ditties too...!!! So come and play with me!
At the Festival of Milcom In the sun we will run naked
Let the women on the Pill come And get broiled and fried and bake-ed
And then everybody will come! It might be a mistake-ed
And that's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
We will all go mess with sheep Ancient British music is such
'Cause they're silent, and they're cheap Put the BBC well in dutch
And upon them we will leap Just because that it was too much
And that's ba-a-a-ad enough for me! Saxon violins for TV!
SHINTO
There are some who practice Shinto I don't really go for Shinto
There are some who practice Shinto It's just something I'm not into
There's no telling what WE'RE into! Tho I guess I could begin to
but that's good enough for me! 'Cause it's good enough for me!
In Japan they thought it neato Well the Japanese use Shinto
When they worshipped Hirohito There's no telling what they're into
But that didn't sit with SEATO It helps them outsell the Pinto
So it never more will be! And that's good enough for me!
Ameratsu brought the light in We will venerate the Kami
And love's bonds began to tighten Tho they don't wear no pyjommies
The whole world began to brighten And they ain't got any Mommies
And that's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me!
If you come to practice Shinto
Make sure you know what they are into
You must praise each rock and lean-to
But they're good enough for me!
THE SOCIETY FOR CREATIVE ANACHRONISM
In the SCA the Kings they oughter We will all go be nice SCAdians
Eschew their royal hauteur And get nice and truly laid - ian
'Cause they cannot walk on water Not a lot of them are maid-i-ens
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will have no mullets voided Where's the gong gone? I can't find it
Within annulets conjoin-ed I think Northwoods is behind it!
If it's good enough for Ioseph For they've always been cymbal-minded
Then it's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me!
At Pennsic there's the Dark Horde
Better hope that they don't get bored
You can spot 'em by their Horde Cord
And they're good enough for me!
THE CHURCH OF THE SUB-GENIUS
Say hosannas to "Bob" Dobbs Now there's a smokin' dude named Bob
With space aliens he hobnobs If you're not green then you're a slob
He's the patron saint of slobs And all the pink are left to sob
And that's good enough for me! When the ufos come to be!
Bob your pockets would have cleanest Gimme slack and gimme more slack
If you pay him (I'm not mean(us)) And more and more and more slack
You'd have to be a "subgenius" I got a trunkful out back!
But he's good enough for me. And it's not enough for me!
THELEMA
Uncle Crowley was a dreamer When the clouds they are a-rumbling
At the Abbey of Thelemer And the thunder is a-grumbling
But his magic is a screamer, Then it's Crowley that you're mumbling
So it's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
There are those who follow Crowley Let us call an Elemental
Tho the stuff that he held holy For a temporary rental
Turn your your brain to guacamole Just as long as it is gentle
But he's good enough for me! It is good enough for me!
It was good enough for Crowley The Thelemites worship Crowley
With his sacraments unholy While he's roasting very slowly
Who smoked pot and ate some moly 'Cause they think he's so damn holy
And it's good enough for me! He don't do a thing for me!
It's no good for Jerry Falwell Magick's language is so queer
And he don't think we're at all well Causes Crowley to appear
But the Great Rite's when we shag well And to stick it in your ... ear!
And that's good enough for me! That's not good enough for me!
Let us not forget St. Crowley There are those who worship Crowley
For he's humble, meek and holy 'Cause they say he rhymes with "holy"
Kind and jolly, roly-poly, What I say is "Holy Moley!"
And that's good enough for me! "Perfect love, and ninety-three!"
When the wind is turnin' howly Ninety-three and forty-leven
And the thunder's gettin' growly Sixty-nine and eighty-seven
Then you know you're workin' Crowley Crowley won't get you to Heaven
And he's good enough for me! Ain't no good for you and me!
TRICKSTER
We will praise the wily Trickster We will howl with ol' Coyote
Who of talents is a mixture Pee on bushes, eat peyote
And is famous as a prixster Then we'll roast ol' Mendes' Goatie
And that's good enough for me! And that's wild enough for me!
Let us praise the Holy Fool Of Great Murphy much is spoken
For He's breaking all the rules For His Law shall not be broken
Holds you up to ridicule, It's not pretty when He's woken
And that's good enough for me! Things go wrong for you and me!
If your god of choice is Squat If your rising sign is Aries
Well then trendy, man,