Young folks, old folks, everybody come
Come to the ritual and have a lotta fun
Please check your bathing suits and undies at the door
And we'll show ya Gods and Goddesses you've never seen before!

The drums started beatin' and in walked Ininni
Wearin' a bright green, skimpy string bikini
Pan snuck up and tried to pinch Her on the rear
Ininni said, "You old goat!" and kicked the chandelier!

Bridget comes from Ireland, Bridget's pretty cute
Runnin' all around in just Her birthday suit
The things She did would make St. Patrick faint
But they couldn't run her off, so they changed her to a saint!

Herne is a Hunter, Herne's pretty blunt
Herne came in with the entire Wild Hunt!
They all got to partying, gettin' pretty loose:
Antlers in the treetops! Who goosed a moose?

Diana is a virgin, Diana is a prude
Don't like partyin', hates bein' lewd
Actaeon saw her in the bathroom, nekkid as a log
So She got p***** off and threw him to the dogs!

Artemis is sexy, She's about the best
Really quite amazing, with fifty-seven breasts!
She got popular, really made the scene
When She showed off Her chest in Playboy magazine!

The Morrigan came in, kicked Loki in the butt
Then She turned Him around and kicked Him in the n***
She said, "It's a nice way of relieving stress .....
.... I'm not really angry, it's just constant PMS!"

The Fool got drunk and danced around the room
Doin' lewd things with the handle of a broom
Lillith got int'rested, they went off in the dark
It ain't nothin' much; they're both an easy mark!